4 January 2019
Happy New Year everyone and welcome to 2019! This year for everyone is apparently being your BEST self. I’ve been hearing the same lines from people mostly…”2019 is MY year,” “We’re going to take 2019 over and do wonderful things!” Blaaaaah and all that motivating crap. My thing has always been that if it took you an entire new year for you to claim your light and be motivated then you weren’t really motivated in the first place and a new year probably won’t make that change very much. So I guess I digress (for now). If you are really indeed serious about change this year and have claimed it to be a better situation, a better year and a better you; then that is wonderful and I applaud you for realizing that there were things which actually needed to be changed within your character in the first place. Change is always difficult for everyone and the key factor and the key question is always WHO and WHAT you are making that change for. Maybe it’s for your child, or a job; typically the common reason is for YOURSELF. So I have put together a simple list of a few tips and suggestions that are pretty universal when it comes to being a better human being to society and to others this year. Plus I know there are people out there with a goal in mind, or something that they’ve been avoiding or putting to the side for quite a while. Don’t worry, procrastination used to be my thing too, so these 10 simple tips I’m going to give all stem from lessons I’ve learned thanks to 2018, whether negative or positive, I pray they help you a bit in the long run and maybe awaken you to better qualities for a more peaceful life. Alright, lets get to it!
1. If you are able to do it…JUST DO IT: As I said, I think procrastination is just a natural human disease that’s always going around. When I say I had it TERRIBLY, I’m telling the God honest truth. In order to stop procrastinating, you really have to dig deep and figure out where it’s actually coming from. Nobody is usually a procrastinator on purpose. Sometimes life, kids, and working one to two jobs can definitely cause it. Another reason could also be not believing in yourself or the goal at hand enough to get it done. Procrastination is the opposite characteristic of ambition and determination. So if you know you have the time to do something then just do it at that moment. Also learn to wait to do things that aren’t of importance (going out, social media, etc.) I’ve gotten to learn a lot about myself and when a thought or idea enters my head I write it down at THAT VERY MOMENT and don’t put it off. Then follow it up with a plan to execute it ASAP. It really helps and the more you achieve, the more you’re going to want to KEEP achieving.
2. Be direct: Did you reflect on the past year and realize there were way too many moments where you may have just been TOO NICE? Believe it or not, being nice has it’s limits and some people with great hearts and compassionate personalities always fail to recognize that limit. We agree to go to places we know we really did not want to go. We say yes to every favor and every situation we know we shouldn’t even involve ourselves in. If you realize that the past year and maybe several other past years that everything went well for everyone else accept you, then you need to make some changes. Be more direct in your decisions and what you actually want for yourself in a positive light. It’s ok to say NO sometimes when it comes to your mentality and your peace and you shouldn’t have to feel bad about it. Those who cause you feel bad when you do…guess what? They’re usually using you or not looking out for your best interests. So lets be smarter this year and REALLY think out the decisions we make and how we come across to others. Especially if you plan to be taken seriously.
3. Be calm and patient: Ever heard the phrase “slow and steady wins the race”? Well it’s actually pretty true. Nothing in life that is worth value ever comes to you too quickly. I am terrible with patience and I can admit that. If things aren’t going my way in the time that I would like it too, all hell breaks loose and I would even try and manipulate it into going my way. This is totally wrong and it only wreaks havoc on your peace of mind. You’ll realize you’re always stressed, irritated, and anxious and that something dramatic always occurs with that tactic. Why? Because it’s also a terrible and insincere form of controlling everything and everyone around you. Be patient this year and learn to let things NATURALLY come to you and fall into place. Don’t confuse this with just sitting around and waiting for things to happen, we all should be more ambitious when it comes to certain factors like our goals and our dreams, but as far as the things and the people you can’t change right away…WAIT for it. Not only will you appreciate the results a lot more, but you’ll be happier and a lot more humble when something good does finally happen for you!
4. Honesty: That’s right, I’m talking about honesty because it seems to be a constant drought of that going on around here. For most people, lying is also a form of controlling a situation, but this year honesty has to be more present in our lives, even if it might hurt someone’s feelings a little. We have to be blunt and upfront with the things we say because others love to change it and manipulate it into something else just to suit themselves. The more direct and honest that we are, the less likely we are to get caught up in situations we did not deserve to be in. Honesty will never go out of style and it will motivate the quality of sincerity for others around you. People that can TRUST you and the things you say will always want to be around you more, unless they are those who may hate the truth, but if that’s the case then that’s their battle to deal with.
5. Persistence and Consistency Brings Reputable Change:
This is pretty self explanatory, it’s a proven fact that if you want something bad enough and constantly pursue it without giving up, you will undoubtedly receive a positive result. So this year be persistent with going after your goals. Many of us hit the ground running when we make a claim to change ourselves and do better and that’s great! Sometimes the problem with that is the possibility of slowly burning yourself out. You know what I mean, you get this burst of motivation and energy for all of one to two months in the beginning of the year and when things don’t go as quickly and as planned our motivation slowly begins to dwindle around March and April and our old ways emerge even stronger than before and we become lost again. My greatest advice to you is to ALWAYS look forward and that just because something isn’t happening right away never means it won’t happen at all. We have to seek better for ourselves through never giving up on that dream no matter what it takes. If you have a goal or someone you need to contact and network with for it then be persistent. Hell, get on their last nerve if you don’t get an answer right away, but the point is to see your target, view your target, even research it if you have to. Just execute it with every fiber of energy in your being. When you don’t give up on yourself, things magically tend to happen in it’s own time, NOT YOURS. Plus others see determination and always admire it too, not deter it.
6. Love yourself and realize your worth: Ok so I have a problem sometimes and that problem is forgetting how much I am worth as a person, as a woman, and as an individual. PERIOD. I know how smart, amazing, ambitious, and creative I am and even recognize my purpose on this Earth by utilizing and bringing my talents forth to the world, but Lord when it comes to being in a relationship with a man I can be a little naïve and even on the brink of saying I become pretty dumb. I let my feelings speak for me and not my book smart common sense that would tell me how stupid a situation was. That reason was mostly because of people I was choosing to let into my life too quickly and too easily…without proof of action or promise to their words. I was always so moved by the POTENTIAL of another and what do we all know? Potential ain’t SHIT without genuine action behind it. So what I often trapped myself in was a romance with someone that didn’t even have the capacity to recognize my worth because 1. They were insecure and did not love themselves and 2. Because I didn’t appreciate my worth enough to put my foot down for them to respect my feelings or move on when I realized they were really only bringing me down. People who RESPECT you actually respect your worth and your purpose in their life. They cater to it. You can’t make someone see that. So this year when I say LOVE YOURSELF and REALIZE YOUR WORTH I am saying live your life and do what you need to do for yourself. Love who you genuinely are as a person and know all the great qualities your bring to the table, not just in relationships but friendships too. When someone doesn’t recognize that or tries to bring you down to their level just because they aren’t high on themselves or as happy and peaceful as you, have the strength and the courage to remove yourself, no matter how much you care or want to help them. This is VITAL and has to do with the other tip of BEING DIRECT. You’ll love yourself even more for it.
7. Let the past be just that…THE PAST: How could anyone that always looks back at their past ever embrace the amazing future that could be waiting for them just around the corner? The answer is they never can and they never will. We all need to learn what the word PAST means and what it CAN and CAN NOT do for us as we grow. There are so many of us that use our past to justify our actions. Some even stoop to the level of letting it define who they choose to be with and never let it enter their mind how irrelevant it is. We go around finger pointing about something that happened years ago and we’ll swear it still eats us alive; validating our horrible habits, attitudes and choices. In 2019, LIVE IN THE MOMENT. Be in the presence of your present and refuse to keep letting the past make you cringe or make you doubt your ability to change. Everyone is capable of change and the first step to successfully changing is LETTING GO OF EVERYTHING. Especially situations that you had control over but still just went about it the wrong way. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move forward. You will thank and love yourself for it and it will always open your heart and your mind to new opportunities and better days!
8. Be the Bigger Person: Yeah I know, this quote has been told to us for days upon days of time. During every argument and every disagreement someone is usually going to advise you to be the bigger person. This also reiterates my last tip about letting go but to be the bigger person in a situation goes much deeper than that. It means that you have measured yourself as the higher and more understanding human being in a situation and you refuse to compromise your growth and your character for anyone else’s sake. That means, not always planning a revenge that will usually only make matters worse. Like slashing tires, busting windows, and fighting situations. That means forgiving on your own terms. Not saying you have to forget and let them back in just because a few words or said, don’t be a fool. But it means sometimes apologizing (even when you don’t want to). I was always told even when I was younger and being bullied by certain people in school to be the bigger person and to let God handle it for me. When I did just that, it really was handled better than Olivia Pope could have done it. In ways that I NEVER would have been able to handle it and the crazy part is…God even allowed me to see it. So just take the high road and go about your life. Most of the time the other person won’t care to notice anyway and you’ll come out with an even cleaner conscience!
9. Be Authentic: You usually shouldn’t have to practice being real and authentic as a person in today’s time, but with social media on a crazy rise these days, you REALLY have to. Don’t be that person always posting a load of bullshit and lies about your life but if someone met you in person they can barely even tell who you are. Don’t be the girl with all of the filters, lace front wigs, and back shots that get all the likes but in reality you look like life dragged you through the dirt. I see it everyday and it’s only getting worse and believe or not…social media doesn’t really finesse or hide shit. People will notice and most of the time they will definitely call you out on it. So make sure you’re truthfully portraying your life for what it is this year. If you’re struggling then you’re just struggling and there is nothing wrong with that. If you don’t feel like making it known then don’t. But don’t also be the individual always flexing and hyping themselves up but have nothing going on for real. It’s not worth it and most of the time people don’t really give a shit anyway.
10. HAVE FUN: Hey it’s 2019! Have a GREAT time. If there’s nothing standing in your way between you and letting loose a little then do it! We can’t all just work ourselves into the ground everyday with no play. You have to create a balance and there is nothing wrong with enjoying yourself. Whether you’re a mother, you’re working non-stop, or maybe even a little broke, just find something for you. It doesn’t always take an entire bag of money for you to enjoy yourself and spend some time unwinding. Take yourself to a matinee one night, walk around the park and reflect, plan a trip and ACTUALLY go, give yourself a day at the spa. When it comes to fun, there’s also no need to let others dictate how you do it and when you do. In 2019 it is YOUR life that you are living, so own up to that!
Either way, let this be your year because you wanted MORE for yourself and there needed to desperately be a change in your direction. Just do it safely and do it smart. I hope these simple tips and virtues at least gets you going and maybe you’ve already started, as long as it’s YOUR way!! Happy 2019 everyone!
“Changing Our Momentum One Crown At A Time!”