It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”-Lou HOltz
Good afternoon! Thank you so much for checking in and keeping in touch and up to date with all projects and events. As you all know, the next event and signing for “A Man’s World” is happening this week July 10, 2019 beginning at 6:30 p.m. until 8 p.m. I will be signing and selling my books at Montgomery City-Council Library in Downtown Montgomery on Hall Street. I look forward to seeing you all there and in light of that just wanted to drop some motivation for the day!
We all are human and it is always perfectly normal to plan ahead and to have a great feeling that your life is within your control because you planned things out. You’re more mentally calm and able to think more clearly when you make legit plans to execute a project. If you are anything like me, a lot of times that planning can turn into a terrible fit of anxiety. Moments of feeling as if everything can just suddenly go wrong.
What if I’m way in over my head about this? What will people think? Did I forget something? Something is going to go wrong, I can feel it! Are they staring at me? This is too many people! I’m ready to leave this is too many people! Am I a bad mom? I think they really hate me! They don’t think that I am good enough. I don’t deserve to be happy!
Believe it or not, that’s a lot of the thoughts that come with anxiety. It’s not just about planning or your projects. Sometimes it has to do with just being around others you’re not sure of. Everything seems as if it could possibly go wrong. I feel like I can’t be happy for too long or the universe will notice and throw a “money wrench” in there somewhere. At times like these, I realize a few things and have a few habits and tips that I’ll just share for those who feel this same way from time to time. It’s normal and has a lot to do with overcoming any type of trauma or depression. These are all personal tips and they work for me but I encourage everyone to always find their specific therapy or “niche” that works for their lifestyles. So here are my five tips and strategies to remaining calm, positive, and always one step ahead of the negativity in your mind!
#1: Stop Overthinking Simple Things
I know that this one seems so simple, but sometimes it’s just…not. You’re going to stress about everything that you care about the most. It’s a given and something that even the most successful people have to go through from time to time. If you have a passion for anything or care about anyone in your life…you’re going to overthink. What we have to learn to do is just RELAX! Everything that is meant to be will BE and anything that belongs to you cannot be stopped. When God has a plan for you, He wants us to leave everything to him and just stay on the right path…the rest is left in your faith that He won’t leave you or let you fail. Once we’ve prayed on something, we’re supposed to let that faith relax us and never give it a second thought. We do so much in trying to make sure we don’t fail or we aren’t rejected that we literally drive ourselves crazy! Rejection may be one of the most uncomfortable feelings in life but it also comes with experience and taking risks. Overthinking has everything to do with FEAR!! Let go of that fear and embrace change to eliminate overthinking once and for all.
#2: Never Become Your Source of Doubt
I will repeat this one for those who didn’t hear it in the back…NEVER BECOME YOUR SOURCE OF DOUBT! What I mean by this is that there is a big, bad, and negative world out there for us already. We fight against it, we fight with it, and we fight about it. So I HAVE TO be sure that I never add to that negativity towards myself along with everyone else who may be miserable and hopeless. They are always sure to put that same energy off on you because they have not found their purpose or what makes them happy. Stay away from people like that. The complainers, the gripers, the pessimistic. They can crash your entire world down with the right timing and the right execution. Executing your dreams and goals with actual confidence carries you a long way and helps others realize they should also have confidence in you. If you don’t believe in yourself then what would make anyone else feel as if they should?
#3: Don’t Lose Yourself
This is pretty easy to do if you don’t know who or what you want to become. Losing yourself can range from developing chronic depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, etc. Maybe you lost yourself behind a tragedy or major life change. At times this can occur without you realizing it and someone else has to bring it to our attention. Losing yourself can simply be defined as no longer being your original self or losing your character. Whatever makes you the NORMAL you can oftentimes be misplaced or traded for a more distraught or grieving YOU. Others aren’t sure how they should approach or converse with you or even how to simply tell you that they care without you being on edge. We all have to oftentimes step back and evaluate ourselves and how we’re doing mentally. Call it a “Self Check”; and this process can be done with a series of simple questions…“Am I ok?” “Am I happy or have I been pretty stressed out lately?” “Has there been complaints or constructive criticism about my behavior/work ethic?” Identifying and answering questions as simple as this are important. We get so wound up and so afraid of people realizing we are NOT alright, resulting in a facade or mask being created. We have to be our true selves in order to be truly happy. Maintaining the truth and character of who you are is vital to healing!
#4: Do Not Let Your Past Consume Your Present
This is a pretty difficult one for me or anyone sometimes; especially if your past has to do with a lot of trauma. You must adopt and plan out healthy habits and exercise to battle this because it can consume EVERYTHING you have going on for the present and the future. I’ve had to learn the hardest lesson that most don’t ever learn…LETTING GO. Once you let go of things mentally and physically, this allows new blessings to fall into place for your life. People not able to let go of the past are more afraid and hurt than anything. Being unable to forgive is allowing the person who hurt you COMPLETE control over your mind and that gives them complete control over how you live your life and react. It’s like a big open wound that you know you should leave alone in order for it to heal faster but you cannot ignore the temptation of picking at it over and over again…making it bleed out even worse and leave nasty unnecessary scars. Just begin again in a brand new light. It’s the best way to completely bring peace to your spirit and love fully. Stop looking back and blaming yourself!
#5: Admit When You Need Help
Oh how I STILL struggle with this one, but it’s definitely most important. I would go for days and weeks struggling with things…money, mental health, my job, relationships. I always felt like reaching out or bringing your problems to others was pointless. Other people have enough problems and I genuinely believed that mine would never matter to them. I had to just suck it up and figure it out on my own, be an adult. I wasn’t understanding the difference between being an adult and having responsibilities and just really needing help from time to time. Being an adult to me meant NEVER needing help from other adults. They’d talk about me, laugh at me, judge me, ANYTHING but actually be able to help me. I have learned from experience and time that it’s a lot better to go ahead and let it be known that you need help that to let it fester and build up into something worse that they might not be able to help with as easily as before. Putting others in those situations can be selfish, especially in knowing you have people that truly care to help out. Requesting help with ANYTHING that is overwhelming is alright and it’s BRAVE. Never feel so alone that you shut yourself out from the world!!
In conclusion, just take a deep breath and look around you. Study your surroundings…these along with other things you may not clearly see are your BLESSINGS for the present and the future. Let go of the past and embrace change. Spend time with those who have your best interests at heart and want to see your succeed! Remain the Queen/King that you are!!
“Changing Our Momentum One Crown at a Time!”