“Philophobia” By Robin Chappell

Dancing around my feet like a fire

This thought of possibility is reigning true in my mind

I have fallen hopelessly with the point of no return

Forth and back…back and to the fourth time over

I have yet to learn your purpose as a lover

To know what the creation of this brings forth

It is the fear of life or death staring me in the eyes…laughing

Taking me on a crash course through a journey I never once desired

All of these events have transpired to no avail…holding all the world

Tightly in its grasp and forcing me to watch it suffocate

Causing me to feel both extremely heavy and light

I’m so uncomfortable and exposed

Vulnerable with beads of sweat upon my nose

Why can’t I just disappear and never again be found by you?

You’d never have to know my soul or the God honest truth

Never discovering the frail coward of me curled into a ball in your corner

Only to be coaxed out by the promise of being made worthy

And not being made a fool of hearts with a deck in my hand

Dealing out everything beautiful about us without gambling it away

I take it all and lock it away with the confidence of mother nature

A bottomless pit of what ifs and maybes rotting…disintegrating…

Never to be found in us again

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