“Over Thoughts” By Robin Chappell

I’m over it!

Over every single thought

Said I was through with it

Believed I paid the cost

I’m over the cycle and spoon fed drama

I’m inconsolably pissed

Fought through all the trauma

It took meditation, prayer, and self-care

It took closeness, it took distance. Now I’m aware.

I’m fine and I’m healed.

Motives and underlying issues were revealed

And I’m over it. Im done…

-I say

So why the fuck won’t you go away?

Why can’t I control my dreams?

The random thoughts through smoke screens?

The sirens you made me release

The shaking in my hands and knees

The moments I never felt with anyone else

Why can’t I control my fucking self?

Swear I’ve woven years of hard self-discipline

And I still cannot trust myself

—Or you

So much I had to do, yet so little it affected

I know facts! I know what it is and what it isn’t.

It is never forgotten and never regretted

It can’t control me, because I won’t let it.

Yet, I feel insane!

Running around like I’m good

Being the good girl that I should

Like I can’t faintly hear the deafening sound…

Waves rushing in when you come around

My healing disappearing at the sight of your face

-My entire kingdom crashing down…

As soon as you grab my waist…

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