“Retrospective” By Robin Chapppell

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Don’t take me back there

To those cold nights when the sky fell on my head

The stars were thrown at me like sharp spurs

And I took the pain of every single one

Instead of red, I bled the color of a deep blue

The midnight one in the hundred color crayon box-

I would often show off for you like that

Pulling out the variety box in front of the entire class

Complete with the sharpener on the back…

Just for them all to realize exactly what they lacked

I gained more during those times with you

More than I ever knew could be realized

When I drowned in the midnight blue of the skies

A deceptive feeling of beauty between the ugly lines

I was crossed out as if I could ever be placed on a list

No access for me inside of a melancholy place like this

“Miss Karma” By Robin Chappell

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She cradled the remainder of dignity you had left like a newborn

Delicacy is overrated and although her esteem has been debated

She waits until she finds better, leaping through an endless loophole

She could never deny what is right, remaining focused on the wrong

Sickening how no one acknowledges her in a bar full of broken hearts

Slobbering and slurring over what once was and how they’d fucked it up

She is thrown to the side in a denial of moments…right next to the throw up

For if they really had to accept her, no being could truly handle it

Descending upon the Earth in a fury with no face displaying her wrath

Nor could they swallow any of her tiny cut up pieces that create an entire picture

Photographs taken in black and white she perches between her lovely breasts-

Safer keeping

When she approaches you in both fury and calm, there will be no ounce of rest

Whispering all of the secrets you thought you kept-

and you swear to God they never left the depths of your breath

You prayed she’d never know

Yet, no one knows you better than she

Not in the birth of your dirty new mornings

The bottomless slums of your cheap filthy evenings

The most silent punishment to the highest degree

The upper echelon of crimes and sins committed

Settling in the bottom of the bottle in the middle of a spinning room…

And when it all shatters…all of the pieces glisten in boisterous relief

Just to return right back…and do it all again

“Queen” By Robin Chappell

Rise and shine Queen, the sun is ready for you, elated by all your glory.

The Earth bestowing more time upon you, intently listening to light of your story

Anxiously tasting the nectar of melanin, the sweetest morning honeydew

Dreams of perfection and moments in heaven where no man is ready for you

When you look to your reflection and bathe in your glow

Others wonder what is your secret—what could you profoundly know?

Which heels have you trudged the world’s ugliness through?

Before they broke down on you and your stiletto snapped in two

Rise and shine Queen! Your individuality is what awaits

Time to tame your wild tresses, and straighten your crown—give the whole world a taste

They savor the yellow warmth of your life’s joy and taste the sunsets unexpired

Others unmercifully stare when the lady in bold reds and blues ravishingly takes the room

A style which never expires nor is compromised by what society agrees

The change in you is envious but they never saw the nights you fell to your knees

No one was there when you defeated yourself or the tragic doubts many minds never bare

They didn’t know you rose with such courage—picked yourself up by your teeth

Beauty and grace so obvious, they’ll never find what lies beneath

Rise my Queen! They should know how unstoppable you can be

No mountains, or winds, anyone’s hand, no vast oceans or deep blue seas

Only you know all that you need and all that you need is you

Rise and shine my beautiful Queen! The sweetest morning honeydew

“Gullible” By Robin Chappell

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As our breathing closely intertwines in the darkness of the forbidden

I show you myself and every part of my soul that I’ve kept hidden

Your hands and lips lightly brushing against mine sends fire through my spirit

It would be a lie astray to try and say this moment isn’t what I wanted

You pull me in and I push you away for the chance of another day

Begging you to once again leave the room, silent pleas not to love me

Saving you from heart breaking damnation of poison dipped toxicity

You continue your stay and complicate me, in your heart you refuse to believe

Give it enough time, a few stings of insults, and a sprinkle of horrendous pride

The painful moments of distrust paired with silently awkward car rides

I am not to love and love has never been for someone like me

A pain in my side buried too deep, it could never comfort nor relieve

So, please…as I tell you between anxious whispers to save your heart and yourself

That anything too sweet and savory is terrible for your health

For once I choose to be the better person and put all else above me

Deep in the midnight’s clutches

Past all the longing stares and touches

Requesting you place aside all the lust you seek

Begging for you not to make a mistake and love me….

“Morning Energy” By Robin Chappell

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I wake up and rise to the shine of your smile

Wrapped in a euphoria of touches, kisses and caresses

As you gently run your hand through my thick tresses

Wrapped in love and soaked in compassion

There are no doubts nor rugged edges of traction

Meeting me beyond halfway of my expectations

Each time you feed me drops of your soul

And nourish my body from head to toe

I know how real these moment set

Never the less and always the best

“Dirty Reflections” By Robin Chappell

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A fickle darkness surrounded what was

Where light once illuminated us both

It was so warm and inviting like a fire

Igniting the common sense we should know

It was too good and engulfed who we were

Innocence taken over by radical insolence

Convinced the end would never happen if we didn’t care

So much pride and so many dramatic times

Like thirsty leeches we could never release it

It was too familiar and comforting like a blanket of sun

Even when we stopped knowing we were not the one

When pain began to overtake the pleasure

We’d rather prick our fingers a hundred times

Than to step around and accept the truth

But in the darkness I suddenly let it go

I let it twinkle away like the death of a star

Putting the cherry on top and going afar

Souls tied with string that pull us along

No matter the pressure of trying to be strong

I can still hear you and get the signal

Every time you really think about me

Still refusing to let me go while you roam around freely

“I Just Am” By Robin Chappell

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I just am

So many changes standing alongside minimum action

Always prepared for more of whatever is to come

Convinced I am chosen for greater

Confident I am the unique one

A heart is so full of secrets forbidden to the moral mind

Pleasing to the eye who loves passion and drama unhinged

Older age gently pushing me into the expected, not the wanted

I just am

Still that girl who loves taking laps around an art museum

While hiding art within the walls of my brain…where paint rains

Hungry for more but accepting of less

I pinky swear on the promises of nothing

I have changed and I’m the one to blame for the silence

Thirsty for the violence I once translated into love

What does that make me?

Whom does that make you?

Loyal to the rebel?

Fickle to the rules?…

I just am…

“Water Me Down” By Robin Chappell

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Like soggy bread pinched between two fingers

An overbearing cologne that continues to linger

A Christmas tree not ornamented the entire way around

My substance is inevitable, you could never water me down

Worse than the flattest Coke on a summer day

Having a long conversation with no words to say

Why build a foundation on the weakest ground?

Or listen to music without a sound?

Why would I lower myself to make you feel higher bound?

My mind is the deepest ocean, it could never be watered down!

I cannot teach you happiness or the confidence you seek

I am not the entity to feed the ego you so desperately need

We possess the same hours in a day to both accomplish and achieve

Trickle your pools into rivers, pour your rivers into the sea

For we each are beyond amazing with ambition and ability

So refrain from putting me down when I proudly come around

As I hold my head to the sky without ever looking down

When you hear me loud, allow me room to be proud

If I speak intelligently, seek more of the knowledge you may need

When I overflow with joy after I consistently succeed

Don’t come around trying to save me

Even when I seem to drown

Live your life without judgement

Stop trying to water me down!

“Conscience” By Robin Chappell

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It was wrong from the beginning….

That house of cards that I built

I tried it every which way but…

The positioning was all wrong

And the wind kept stopping by….

Taking the glory of all it’s progress

Singing that same old song

It was wrong from the beginning…

But the mood just struck me so

I tried to make it go away but…

It happened in the mere blink of an eye

Erasing all the good that I’d ever know

It was wrong from the beginning…

I don’t believe I can ever make it right

I’ve sacrificed and cried out to the heavens…

But angels don’t save you from hell

It was wrong from the beginning…

With an end that no one can tell…

“Trees” By Robin Chappell

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Did you ask the trees how they’re feeling today?

Don’t you think they need a hand?

Not because the heaviest storm winds are making them sway

Or because time puts them through rot and decay

There is unwanted hate and intervention on man’s land

Land where they happen to be planted each time they meet a Black man

Did you ask the trees how they’re feeling today?

Don’t you think that they need an ear?

To speak about centuries upon centuries of dark faces

All brought to them to welcome their ends

Expressions of unrequited grief and fear

Tragedies deeper than their roots could ever grow

Demonic words of pain and death many would never know…

Did you ask the trees how they’re feeling today?

Reaching for the sky doesn’t mean they aren’t low

Terror-stricken fates at the ends of their limbs

Each time more inhumane. Each time just another “her” or “him”

Did you ask the trees how they’re feeling today?

Don’t you think they’re sick of the ropes?

The ones hanging the “Strange Fruit” Ms. Nina sung about

Popular among trees everywhere, mainly the depths of the south

Did you ask the trees how they’re feeling today?

Next time I really believe you should

The flesh of broken spirits haunt their dreams every night

Spirits no longer considering to be “just wood”

Without question, they are our daily breath

The life, the food, and healing rest

No longer considered just a pointless display

Did you ask the trees how they’re feeling today?